My favorite poet, Mary Oliver, wrote in Sometimes:
“Instructions for living a life:
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.”—Mary Oliver, Sometimes
Straightforward, simple directions for telling a bit of my story.
When I received a congratulatory birthday note from the Iowa House on my 80th birthday, I gasped in astonishment! “80, how can that be?” And then it hit me … I’d already been retired from nursing for 15 years, a little wobbly some days, and I rejoiced when the Dr. said, “It’s a great idea to take a little nap each day!” That birthday note probably was not sent to the wrong address.
Sometimes thoughts all lead to the shadow side of aging … what is mine to do now? Why am I angry that I use a wheeled walker when it keeps me balanced and on my own two feet? Plus, it lets me scoot along at a pretty good clip for 80! What will be my next adventures when I can no longer climb mountains and hike easily through the forest? Why am I still here when so many friends and family are gone? What IS mine to do?
It was now time to answer some of those questions. And to “practice what I preach” with the Unity principle that says change your thinking, change your experience of life.
Sometimes just the right experience appears. At this same time, Prairiewoods offered a group circle discussion on the book Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul by Connie Zweig. Perhaps I would find some answers there, I thought, so I made my way back to Prairiewoods once again. How enlightening to find I wasn’t the only one angry about moving slower and getting older! Sharing stories together helped me see how to get past some of those inner negative thoughts and move to embrace the positive inner gifts of aging.
Sometimes posting on Facebook can be a positive thing!? Friends saw that 80th birthday note and submitted my name to AARP for their Wish of a Lifetime program. Joyfully, I received a wish and was able to return to my beloved Rocky Mountains once again after thinking that would never again be a possibility! I wrote a poem (below) reminding myself of all the endless possibilities awaiting us in the future, revealing the hidden spiritual gifts of aging.
Sometimes repeating affirmative experiences and sharing in circle with others can lead you to emerge as an Elder filled with renewed vitality and purpose and to become a force for change in this chaotic world. And so I just completed another session of Inner Work of Age at 81 and look forward to this study being offered again by Sister Joann Gehling and Sister Ann Jackson!
Sometimes it is as simple as just paying attention, as Mary Oliver says, “I walked slowly and listened to the crazy roots, in the drenched earth, laughing and growing.”
—Janith Shoning-Griffith
Endless Possibilities
Summer slips into autumn
flowers fade
petals dry, curl
skies turn gray and stormy
always I find
still possible Sunshine
as goldfinch lands
on coneflower seeds
Coleus shoot their flowers
skyward
in need of pruning
I leave them there
knowing
Joy is still possible
many little bees now drink
last nectars of summer
Older, grayer, less mobile
still I cling
to my mountain trekking stick
Miles of flat Nebraska plain
roll before us, change to sandhills
eyes scan endless horizons
searching for still possible sights
of our Rocky Mountains
Just there, they rise as magic
from the rolling foothills
filling my heart with joy
calling me home once more
to still possible dreams
snowy peaks, pines, lakes
bugling herds of elk,
perky pika, tiny alpine flowers
Ancient paths
still possible to be seen
wind down the mountainside
mark the way as my feet slip into
my sister’s moccasin tracks
Still possible to imagine
trekking down alongside her
into the winter meadow
Once more on top of the world
my ashes carried on a cool
mountain breeze
someday
still possible
to lie in the sunshine
among the alpine flowers
once again
—copyright Janith Shoning-Griffith, age 80, Wish of a Lifetime in September 2023