Dear Prairiewoods Family,
Hello and much love to each of you. This is my last blog post as the ecospirituality coordinator at Prairiewoods. I have been thinking about this post all week, and it is hard to find the words for all that I am feeling as I take my leave of Prairiewoods as the ecospirituality coordinator of 13 years. I think many of us have been feeling this way lately, that it is hard to put into words … all that we are feeling in and through this year, 2020. Sadness, grief, hope, excitement, unknowing, great change.
So I guess I will begin now, right here, in this moment. Right now, as I write these words, I am trying to breathe deeply, to center and ground myself, but it isn’t easy. My body is full of nervous energy and my brain is a bit cloudy. What to say … what to share … this week and this year have been FULL of so much hardship and so much beauty … so much change. Change seems to be hard for us humans, but it is also an invitation into expansion. I have been trying to see things clearly—it has been a mantra of mine for many weeks now. Please let me be brave. Please let me see my choices clearly.
The trees have been with me this week, holding great symbolism for this year and as my job comes to an end. On Tuesday I went for a walk to one of my favorite trees in town, a giant cottonwood tree. I gave it many nicknames, the Trinity Tree, the tree of three. The tree of past, present and future, for its three humongous trunks that emerged from one central immense trunk. As I approached the tree, I could not believe what I was seeing. This great, wise Being had been cut down. All that remains is a large eight-foot, three-part stump. Once again, I don’t have words—but I did have one word: justice. How could this beautiful being just be cut down like that? Where is our respect for life? Where is our dignity? The interesting thing is that this elder has what looks like a large nose on one side of it, so what do I think of, I can’t breathe. Human life and tree life, deeply connected. If we are unable to honor one, how can we possibly honor the other? But we are beginning, we are becoming and we will get there, all of us, human and more-than-human, together. We are doing it now, we are being brave and seeing clearly. I offered my respects to that great tree and I offered them to George Floyd, and all those that came before both of them, as well as to those that will come after.
I have no idea how to transition here … so …. today I was on a walk and came upon a most glorious catalpa tree in full bloom. Thousands of small, white, orchid-like blooms with a sweet, delicate scent. I just had to stand there, admiring, loving, saluting. As I clumsily made my way down the steep hill and away from the catalpa, I accidentally took a picture of my feet and the shadow of my legs. It felt so appropriate for today, individually and collectively. We are being stretched. Stay grounded, connected to Earth Mother. Trust in the process of expansion. Thank you for reading these words that feel jumbled and all over the place. It’s where I am at today and have been most of this week. I keep telling myself, it’s OK to feel this way, and it is, it truly is. I may not have the words, but how could I express in words what is so much more? What I do have is deep, deep love in my heart for Prairiewoods, for my journey, for your journey and for our shared journey. We journey together, always and in all ways (cheesy smiley face).
From my heart to yours,
—Emelia Sautter, Prairiewoods ecospirituality coordinator
